You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize
