i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
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