Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize