would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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