I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
did you just send me my own nude
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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