You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
