Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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