Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
