let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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