i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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