? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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