Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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