my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
