We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
