i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
