...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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