I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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