Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Damn victory sex feels great
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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