At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
