Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
