i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
