What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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