seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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