Do vagina's smell?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
