Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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