I CAN MOONWALK!
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I stole a fireplace last night.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
