Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I wish I only lived at night.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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