I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
