i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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