sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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