I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
