My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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