this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
