i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
love makes seman taste better
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
