New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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