dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
