I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
