The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
