I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Randomize
