Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
