I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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