i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
