I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
