I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
