i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
