My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize