There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
