i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
