dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
