ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
