omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
