3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
