Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
