So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
this is an emotional support booty call
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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