i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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