i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize