We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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