omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
My dick has a subreddit
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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