I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
