I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
