don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize