I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
