when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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